Chloe Fisher on Miscarriage, IVF, Surrogacy, and the miracle of baby Bobbi

There is the version of trying for a baby that we are sold.
And then there is what really happens behind closed doors.

Chloe Fisher sat down with us to share the real story behind her four year TTC journey to baby Bobbi. It is raw, emotional, occasionally messy and deeply hopeful.

Chloe has walked through ectopic pregnancy, recurrent miscarriage, low AMH, silent endometriosis, Asherman syndrome, eight rounds of IVF and a near move to surrogacy before falling pregnant naturally.

This is her story, told so other women feel less alone.

Listen to the full podcast here

FROM BALI WEDDING TO FIRST PREGNANCY AND LOSS

Chloe always knew she wanted to be a mum.

She married her husband Paul in Bali in 2020, just one week before the world shut down. She had been off the pill for years, never especially “careful”, and like many of us, assumed pregnancy would sort of just happen when it was meant to.

It did, at first.

The day after their wedding she fell pregnant. It felt easy and magical, even in the chaos of covid, telehealth appointments and going to scans alone.

At around eight weeks she started bleeding. Blood tests confirmed she was pregnant, her HCG was rising, but scans could not clearly locate the pregnancy.

Eventually doctors discovered it was an ectopic pregnancy. Chloe needed a D&C. She was fortunate to keep her tube, but the emotional scar was deep.

“It felt very hush hush. I felt extremely alone. No one in my friendship circle talked about miscarriage. I didn’t even realise how common it was.”

That first loss was the beginning, not the end.

 

THE HIDDEN TOLL OF “JUST KEEP TRYING”

After her ectopic pregnancy, Chloe was told to let her body heal, then try again when she felt ready. She did exactly that.

For a year she tracked ovulation, paid attention to timing, did “all the right things” and nothing happened. The months ticked by. Still no baby.

A friend’s experience prompted her to ask for an AMH test. AMH is a blood test that gives an indication of egg quantity.

She felt healthy, had regular cycles and was only 28. She expected reassurance.
Instead, she was told her AMH was closer to what doctors typically see in women over 35 or even 40.

“They were kind of like, we do need to do IVF. I was 28 and suddenly in the fertility specialist’s office.”

SILENT ENDOMETRIOSIS, LOW AMH AND EIGHT ROUNDS OF IVF

In 2021 Chloe began IVF with fertility specialist Dr Keong on the Gold Coast. As part of her workup she had a laparoscopy.

Surprise number one: moderate endometriosis that she had no idea was there.
Surprise number two: even with stimulation, she never got many eggs.

Across eight rounds of IVF over five years, her best cycle produced about ten eggs which would usually dwindle to one or two embryos. Her final round produced no embryos at all.

Along the way she experienced three more miscarriages, all from IVF pregnancies. The embryos were tested after her D&Cs and came back chromosomally normal.

“I was getting put in that ‘you are just unlucky’ basket. Great embryos, repeated losses, and no one could tell me why.”

Emotionally, it was brutal. Financially, it was heavy. Physically, it was relentless.

THE MISSING PIECE: DIAGNOSIS OF ASHERMAN SYNDROME

Still searching for answers, Chloe travelled to the United States to see another specialist. During an egg collection the doctor decided to closely examine her uterus.

That is when she heard the words “Asherman syndrome” for the first time.

Asherman syndrome is caused by scar tissue inside the uterus. The walls can literally start to stick together, making it difficult for a pregnancy to implant and grow with a healthy blood supply.

Looking back, Chloe believes this scarring meant embryos could grow to a certain point but did not have the environment they needed to continue.

She was referred to a surgeon in San Francisco who specialises in Asherman syndrome and underwent major surgery to remove the scar tissue. The recovery was much more intense than she expected. She had a balloon and catheter in place, an IUD inserted to help healing and needed her mum to fly from Sydney to care for her.

“I completely underestimated it. I woke up thinking ‘what have I done’. It was so painful, I could barely get up the stairs.”

Six weeks later, her IVF doctor could still see scarring.

Chloe was offered two options: repeat the same surgery or move to surrogacy.

The doctor attempted to break down the scar tissue in the clinic using saline. Chloe describes it as one of the most traumatic experiences of her life and walked away knowing she would never set foot in that office again.

THE MENTAL SHIFT TOWARD SURROGACY

That appointment was a turning point.

After four years of trying, multiple surgeries, international flights, endless opinions and no clear plan, Chloe finally allowed herself to consider surrogacy as her next step.

“I knew I had to leave no stone unturned. I had to try everything to feel at peace moving to surrogacy. That day in the chair was when I knew I was done putting my body through more.”

In Australia, surrogacy is altruistic. You cannot pay someone to carry your baby, which makes finding a surrogate incredibly complex.

Chloe had already had several women reach out to her through her podcast, Darling, Shine, offering to be her surrogate. Her manager carefully spoke with each of them and they eventually connected with a wonderful woman from North Queensland.

Then came the checklist:

• psychological assessments for Chloe and Paul

• psychological assessments for the surrogate and her partner

• sign off from fertility specialists

• separate legal representation

• a detailed surrogacy agreement

They completed the entire legal and psychological process while Chloe was spending summer in Ibiza with Paul during his touring season. By mid 2023 they were fully approved.

“I felt lighter. I had a plan. I really thought, I’ll transfer in November and we will have a baby next year.”

THE PLOT TWIST: A NATURAL PREGNANCY AFTER YEARS OF IVF

Life, of course, had other plans.

After a whirlwind few months including a Maldives honeymoon, Bali and then back home to Australia, Chloe was booked for yet another opinion with a new doctor. She still believed her San Francisco surgery had not “worked” and wanted fresh eyes on her uterus.

Reading through the pre-surgery paperwork she noticed the line about avoiding intercourse in the two weeks before the procedure in case of pregnancy. She laughed at it. After everything, the idea of conceiving naturally felt impossible.

Still, a few things felt strange:

• her breasts were noticeably bigger

• she was suddenly obsessed with coconut water

• her Oura ring showed a temperature chart that did not look like her usual pre-period pattern

Standing in her bathroom, alone, waiting for a friend to pick her up for the hospital, she took a pregnancy test.

Two lines.

“I remember texting Ellidy like, park the car, do not come in yet, or actually come in because I need you to triple check this. I’m pregnant. What is happening.”

It was the start of the pregnancy that would become baby Bobbi.

And it came with very real fear. She had been told by multiple doctors that falling pregnant would likely lead to another miscarriage. Every previous pregnancy had ended before 12 weeks.

At the same time, she was scheduled to meet her potential surrogate in person for the first time the following week. Chloe was nauseous in the elevator from morning sickness and nerves, knowing she was about to sit down with the woman who had just completed months of preparation to carry her child.

She had, quite literally, dodged a surrogacy transfer by one month.

PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS: CHOOSING HOPE IN TINY MOMENTS

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriages is not simple joy. It is relief mixed with terror, hope mixed with dread.

Chloe had never made it past 12 weeks before. Every scan in previous pregnancies carried bad news. She was terrified of ultrasounds, and her sonographer knew the weight of those early appointments.

Her approach this time was different.

With previous pregnancies she wrapped herself in cotton wool, avoided travel and tried to control everything. This time she decided not to change a thing.

Paul was about to head off on an Asian tour with shows in Japan, Thailand and Bali. Chloe went.

“I had learned the hard way that if I was going to miscarry, it would happen whether I was on the couch at home or on a flight. So I lived my life and trusted that whatever would be, would be.”

She also had an emotional “safety net” in the form of surrogacy. If this pregnancy did not continue, she knew they had embryos and an incredible woman ready to carry for them.

That did not mean the anxiety disappeared.

Every day in the shower she spoke out loud to her baby.

“I told her she was safe, that the timing was right, that I loved her, that we were strong. It was my way of holding on to hope.”

At the 12 week scan there was finally good news. A healthy baby, a strong heartbeat. Chloe cried. Ellidy cried. The sonographer probably cried on the inside.

For the first time, it felt like this might actually happen.

BED REST, CANCELLED SHOWS AND A DRAMATIC LEAD UP TO BIRTH

The pregnancy progressed beautifully until 32 weeks. At her routine 32-week scan, doctors discovered Chloe’s cervix had shortened significantly. They were concerned she would go into preterm labour.

She was admitted straight from the ultrasound clinic into the hospital maternity ward and spent two weeks on bed rest. From her window she could see the beach and even one of Paul’s festival shows.

She was allowed hospital leave just long enough to attend her baby shower in a wheelchair.

At 34 weeks she was discharged and managed another four weeks at home, living in limbo, not knowing if Paul could safely commit to shows or if labour would start at any moment.

Eventually, at 39 weeks, her care team and Chloe agreed on an induction. She had extra fluid, a very engaged baby and a husband whose work commitments in Ibiza had already been pushed back twice.

A WILD, BEAUTIFUL LABOUR AND THE SURPRISE OF BABY BOBBI

Chloe’s induction started with gels in the evening. After the second dose things escalated quickly.

From 10 pm to around 5 am she laboured with no pain relief, supported by Paul and her best friend Ellidy. When it became too intense she opted for an epidural and experienced a few blissful hours of calm, even calling family and friends to say how “easy” it all felt now.

Then it was time to push.

Epidurals are a gift, but they can make it hard to connect with your body. Chloe struggled to feel where and how to push. The epidural was eventually turned off. The pain returned in full force. Contractions were on top of each other. She was exhausted, vomiting, shaking and convinced she might actually die.

“There was a moment on all fours with Paul and El by my head saying ‘you’ve got this’ and I honestly thought, I don’t. I cannot do this any longer.”

Her obstetrician came in, suggested an episiotomy and forceps, and quickly topped up her pain relief before delivering her baby.

They had kept the sex a surprise. Everyone, including Chloe, was convinced it was a boy. After losing five baby boys, it felt logical to expect another.

It was a girl.

Bobbi.

“I still look at her every time I breastfeed and think, how did I get so lucky. She is such a miracle. People don’t actually understand just how unlikely it was that she would be here.”

WHY TALKING ABOUT MISCARRIAGE AND INFERTILITY MATTERS

When Chloe experienced her first loss, she had never heard a friend talk about miscarriage. She did not know anyone who had openly discussed infertility.

That isolation is part of what led to her podcast, Darling, Shine, with her best friend Ellidy. The show was born from grief, but became a space for women to speak honestly about loss, love, mental health and the complicated reality of trying to grow a family.

“I do not want to be seen as just an influencer chick. I am genuinely so passionate about miscarriage and infertility. If sharing my story helps even one person feel less alone, then it is worth it.”

Even now, with Bobbi in her arms, Chloe’s grief is not “over”. She is writing a memoir and finds herself crying through interviews with her ghostwriter as she revisits surgeries, losses and her post birth story.

Healing is not linear. You can be wildly in love with your baby and still carry deep scars from the journey it took to meet them.

IF YOU ARE ON A COMPLICATED PATH TO PARENTHOOD

If you are somewhere along a similar path, Chloe wants you to hear this:

+ You are not a failure. Your body has not let you down.

+ There are many paths to parenthood, none of them less valid than another.

+ It is ok to seek second, third or tenth opinions. Leave no stone unturned if that is what you need to feel at peace.

+ Letting go of how it was “supposed” to happen can be incredibly hard, but also freeing.

+ Trust your intuition. You know when you have reached your limit with a particular treatment or doctor.

+ Be gentle with yourself. This road is long, grueling and full of anxiety. You deserve care and rest as much as any physical treatment.

“I pray that anyone who is trying will get their miracle in the end, no matter how it happens.”